Influencing with authenticity can supercharge the effectiveness of your influence abilities.
Throughout all of my keynote speeches, masterclasses, seminars and in these micro-masterclasses I present a range of tips, tools and techniques combined with a mind set to help you become both more effective and more influential in your work and private lives. Some people may suggest that equipping yourself with these skills ismanipulative but I would argue that they could be likened to technology.
In the wrong hands technology can be be used to cause incredible damage across the world yet in the right hands can offer our plant immeasurable successes too. The same as a surgeons knife. It can be used to save a life, but in the wrong hands can be used to end a life.
There is no doubt that the effectiveness of influencing others is in direct correlation the the authenticity and sincerity that it is combined with.
****THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN INFLUENCE AND MANIPULATION IS INTERGRITY.****
A lack of authenticity is easy to spot and soon renders any negotiation worthless if the prospective client thinks you are trying to manipulate them with sneaky tactics. As a result, your ability to influence or persuade is most effective when the target is not even aware of it. I call it ‘Influence without Awareness’ and I explain it more in my book Effective Influence.
Help, assist, support and influence authentically.
That said if you approach any negotiation with a mind set of genuinely wanting to help, assist, support or improve the other person or their company then your authenticity will certainly shine through.
Thus, likeability is a crucial principle of persuasion when making any influence attempt. People are more inclined to say ‘yes’ to people they like. Finding a similarity, offering a compliment or maybe demonstrating that you have shared goals are three tips to increasing your likeability in an interview, strategy meeting or negotiation.
Another approach is to present your openness at the start of an negotiation as this demonstrates your vulnerability and authenticity early on. It also communicates your integrity and strength of character to share your struggles first as opposed to mislead your colleagues positive personality traits first.
I detail much more about this in my workshops and book but there are some people who are naturally more likeable, more open, present their vulnerabilities to others. For those who aren’t, these are certainly positive characteristics to have, so being aware of your lack of these personality traits is a perfect way to start improving them. When people suggest that tweaking your personality for the benefit of a negotiation is unethical or not authentic I would agree. However if they were doing so, as part of a bigger personal journey to become more likeable, more open, more vulnerable then it is well worth investing time to develop these characteristics. Influencing others around you will simply be one of the many benefits you will reap from nurturing this side of you.
Sincerity and authenticity
If you care about the other person and genuinely want to help them, this sincerity is felt. However, if you are only doing this to make you influence attempt then this will also be sensed and it become very difficult to regain trust, credibility and likeability once your authenticity is tarnished.
Never ever ever ever give in the hope that you will receive something in return! Whether you are giving a candle, a box of chocolates, a thank you card, or even remembering their birthday, this will ensure people around you feel highly valued – which is an important commodity when influencing others. If you expect something in return, again this will be sensed, felt and any degree of trust and credibility will be lost.
People go into meetings, seminars, sessions and negotiations having prepared presentations, statistics, analysis, speeches, product demonstrations and rehearsed what they are going to say. This is not pre-meditative but good planning and professional. Planning and preparing for a negotiation is equally important. If you go into any negotiation want to help and have planned to do so as such, you will influence more effectively every single time.
To find out about how Duncan can help your sales team, business or company influence more effective with authenticity and credibility then get in touch for an authentic chat: